After a humiliating defeat at the hands of the ’76 Steelers… ‘00 Ravens… ‘85 Bears… the ’07 Giants on Sunday, the Birds now enter their bye week. And how might they be spending that week off you ask? Well considering they’re 1-3 and winless in their division, one might guess they’d spend it in the weight room, or on the practice field, or going over film. Well Andy Reid has a different plan, a plan that will ensure success two weeks from now when the Eagles take on the Jets – let them do whatever the hell they wanna do. And with that said, here’s a tentative schedule for some of the Eagles during their bye week.

Wide outs Reggie Brown, Kevin Curtis, Jason Avant and Hank Baskett will be attending the Susquehanna Valley Sports Receivers Camp Thursday through Saturday to try and improve on their combined 3 touchdown catch season (FYI – Curtis owns the rights to all 3 touchdowns, and caught them against Detroit). While at the camp, they hope to learn the following skills:

-How to properly release
-How to catch
-How to create separation
-How to improve their athleticism
-How to become an even better mediocre receiver
-How to run a pattern

Winston Justice is said to be spending his week off locked in his parents basement playing Madden ‘08 working on his pass blocking.

Linebacker coach Sean McDermott will spend his week couped up in a motel by the airport getting drunk off of High Life and cursing the Gods for his linebacking personnel.

LJ Smith will be meeting with someone from the creative writing department at NBC in the hopes of coming up with new ideas to keep him sidelined.

Donovan McNabb will be spending his time back home in Chicago catching up with family, old friends and soon to be new coach.

Defensive ends Juqua Thomas and rookie Victor Abiamiri will spend the week working diligently on a “Please start us over Jevon” letter writing campaign to defensive coordinator Jim Johnson.

Jevon Kearse will spend the week in Tennessee looking for his game.

Special teams coach Rory Sergest will be combing the local high schools and searching Craigslist for a punt/kick returner.

Chris Gocong will be flying home to California and spending the week practicing with his old high school team (Carpinteria High School) in the hopes that spending time in the last place he was any good might make him a better football player.

Brent Celek will spend the week at the NovaCare Complex watching film on Matt Schobel and trying figure out how he’s starting over him.

Takeo Spikes will be in his garage working on his time machine in the hopes of going back to March 27th, 2007.

Sean Considine will be spending the week at former Eagle Mike Zordich’s house where they will start work on their new children’s book, “Even white kids can play strong safety in the NFL”.

Tony Hunt will be in Happy Valley on Friday to meet with Joe Paterno about the possibility of coming back for a 5th season.

Kevin Kolb will spend the week at home with his monkey Steve just staring at the clock counting down the days till McNabb gets his annual season ending injury.

Offensive line coach Juan Castillo will be updating his resume for the fine folks at Monster.com.

Returners Reno Mahe and JR Reed will spend the week shadowing Chicago’s Devin Hester.

Sac Rocca will fly back to Australia and strangle his agent for letting him leave Rugby for the Eagles.

Marty Mornhinweg and Andy Reid will be visiting the Oracle at Delphi looking for answers.