How many times over the years did you say to yourself, “I wish I could choke out that little fuck Ed Wade.” My count was around 15,000. Well, (soon to be former) Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon has lived all our dreams. J Platt says Chacon shouldn’t be allowed to pitch in the majors ever again. I say, give him the keys to the city!

Ed Wade’s not our problem anymore I guess. And since he’s a GM in the National League it probably benefits us as Phillies fans since you know the Astros aren’t doing anything while he’s there. In fact, there might be an opening in New York Ed, maybe you might want to look into that job, I’m just saying.

This story is really pretty amazing. The fact that Chacon admitted to grabbing Wade by the neck, throwing him to the ground and jumping on him is amazing in itself. But what is most shocking in my opinion is that Chacon was able to get his hands around Wade’s head. Have you seen the noggin on that guy? Seriously the head to body ratio has got to be 2-1.

But you’ve got to at least feel a little sorry for Wade, it’s been a tough year. Actually fuck him, I don’t feel sorry, but let’s review some of the things that have happened to Wade over the last year.

• Last August he got stuck in a tree while skydiving in New Jersey and hung 75 feet from the ground until he could be rescued.
• After getting the GM job in Houston he traded Brad Lidge and Eric Bruntlett to the Philles for Geoff Geary and Michael Bourne. It’s not the worst trade in history, but Lidge has been lights out for the Phillies and Bruntlett played great in place of Jimmy Rollins earlier in the year. Meanwhile Bourne is batting .234 and Geoff Geary is … well, Geoff Geary.
• He aquired Miguel Tejada the day before he was named in the Mitchell Report, and then in April Tejada announced that he was actually 34, not 32 as previously thought. Oh, and his last name turned out to be Tejeda, not Tejada.
• He get’s choked by one of his own players
• Astros are 13 games out of first place on June 26, which is probably a familiar position for Wade.

Tough year, tough year.

So sure, choking someone is wrong. When you get in an argument with your boss later today, choking him would be on the list of things to not do. But seriously, when you read this story you smiled and said “Shawn Chacon is my hero” didn’t you? It’s OK, you can admit it.