Last night, Phillies All Star Second Baseman Chase Utley, while being introduced before the Home Run Derby at Yankee Stadium, gave New Yorkers a standard Philly salutation in return for their warm welcome.

“Boo? *uck you!”

It is unfathomable that Utley got away with such an act of blatant disregard for all Phillies fans. Utley has been given complete immunity for his recent slump by Phillies fans, but last night was the final straw for me. I hate to be a Monday morning quarterback but Utley should have played this much differently. Here’s how.

Picture Utley as the Puerto Rican guy in the Dave Chappelle movie “Half-Baked”. Remember the scene when he got fired and had a Jerry Mcguire type “flip out”? That’s what we here in Philly expect from you Chase. So when you walked into the locker room last night and saw Milwaukee’s Corey Hart sitting in what should have been Pat Burrell’s locker, you should have immediately punched him in the face and said, “*uck you!”.

After the dust settled on that one and you walked by old Mets catcher (and perm guru) Gary Carter (in town to play celebrity soft ball), you should have wound your right leg back and kicked him in the jewels. As he lay there like a baby grabbing his crotch, again you could explain simply by saying, “*uck you!”

When David Wright and Billy Wagner tried to get into the locker room before the festivities… you could have picked up a bat, shook it menacingly towards the Mets undeserving All Stars (well, at least one of them), and taunted them with, “*uck you!”, while pointing them back to the parking lot.

When Bud Selig came down to the locker room to find out what the ruckus was all about, you could have snuck up behind him, given him an atomic wedgie, and as he lay crying on the floor with his underwear in his hands, looked down upon him and laughingly stated, “*uck you!”

When you stepped on the field, before the introductions began, you should have given a collective bird sign as you walked out, turned so everyone could see, and said a subtle, “*uck you!” to the Boston fan sitting by himself in the first row. But I digress… this aint about Beantown… it’s about New York, and the “Short Man Complex” that Mets fans have.

As you walked to the On-Deck circle, and spotted Josh Hamilton of the Rangers, you could have tipped your cap and said, “You Cool!”, you know… just to show everyone some Philly love.

But then you gotta get right back in the game Chase… take the cap you just tipped towards Hamilton and swiftly backhand NL Manager Clint Hurdle in the face with it… exclaiming simply, that’s right, “*uck you!” and then tossed him Ryan Howard’s stats and a new pair of glasses.

It’s at this point, and only this point, where it would then have been appropriate during the intros to turn to your buddy Dan Uggla and say, “Boo? *uck you!” to the the circus freaks and New York transports who call themselves Mets Fans. But even then, we in Philly expect more from you Chase. You’re a perennial All Star for cryin’ out loud, and the People’s Champ (someone had to take the title when Freddie Mitchell left town, may as well be his UCLA teammate). So before tonight’s game Chase, we’d like to see something like this…

Then, and only then, will we Phillies fans think about taking it easy on you again.