No!

I did not wait 25 years, watch another city lift the championship trophy almost 100 times, and suffer through a Jim McMahon/Jeff Kemp/Pat Ryan/Brad Goebel Eagles team to have an Arena Football League team be the ones who get the glory for finally bringing a championship to this city.

So I better not see a parade down Broad street next week with the city painted teal and black, or have Benjamin Franklin Parkway turned in Matt D’Orazio Way. And while team co-owner John Bon Jovi can throw a free concert if he wants to, do not dare deck out the Billy Penn statue in 80s era Bon Jovi attire.

Let’s take this for what it is: a minor league team won a championship - something that’s been done in this city many times before. In hockey the Phantoms have won two Calder Cups. In indoor soccer the Kixx have won two MISL championships (most recently last year). And in lacrosse the Wings have one six championships, while …

Although it’s been known for some months now, the official announcement of the Spectrum’s demolition came down today which Ed Snider called “one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make.” From today’s Comcast-Spectacor press release, the word is the building will be torn down following the 2008-2009 Kixx and Phantom’s seasons, meaning some time after May 2009 probably. Since there was such a buildup to the implosion of Veterans Stadium in 2004, you have to imagine there will be even more hubbub around the demolition of the Spectrum since it arguably held more significant sporting events through the years … or at least more championships.

The plans for the area where the Spectrum now stands are pretty exciting, although do we really have to call it “Philly Live!,” really? But still, losing a building that has been part of Philadelphia sports for over 40 years is going to be tough … even if …

In the bottom of the fifth inning of last night’s Phillies win over the Cardinals, Carlos Ruiz sat on first base and Jimmy Rollins stepped to the plate. The score was 0-0 and once again the Phillies offense that was so potent the last time the met the Cardinals was looking enemic. But then the team’s secret weapon emerged - the Phillies graphics department.

With the count 0-1 the graphics department put up a stat (which Tom McCarthy read for all of you who didn’t finish grade school) saying the team hadn’t scored in the last 13.1 innings. 10 seconds later Jimmy Rollins hit a stand-up triple scoring Ruiz from first base. Here’s the video.

Now you can go ahead and say that’s just a coincidence if you want, but I happen to think the Phillies graphics department has a direct line to the baseball gods. I mean we have to get some kind of benefit for the last 125 years, right?

So I hereby call for the …

 Dear National Sports Media (read: Our ESPN overlords),

We really enjoy what you do for us, really we do. If not for you we couldn’t check our fantasy stats when our girlfriends leave the room as we’re stuck watching America’s Got Talent (Don’t Hassle the Hoff). We wouldn’t know that the Cleveland Indians have only a 0.7% chance of making the playoffs (shouldn’t that have dropped when they dealt Sabathia). And we would have never been introduced to the smooth stylings of Stephen A. Smith. Hey, it’s a mixed bag. But with baseball in full swing, the NBA and NHL free-agent period underway and NFL training camp right around the corner, do you really need to manufacture stories about Brett Favre?

Brett Favre was a great player, just ask John Madden. And none of us are going to argue that he should go right into Canton. Hell, put his bust in there now, let him live there, whatever he wants to do. We also know that having …

So last night the rumor came out that Alex Rodriguez’s wife is leaving him for Lenny Kravitz and the Internet almost blew up. Who would have thought any story could take away from the “Brett Favre Returns” story from Favre fellatist Chris Mortensen? A quick look at google trends shows that five of the top 10 searches on google involve Rodriguez and his wife (although my favorite trend comes in at #52 - watermelon viagra). I’ll grant you this is a pretty big story (I’m writing about it, right?) but if ARod still played in Seattle or Texas would this be this big of a story? Clearly if he played in Philadelphia it wouldn’t.

New York is the biggest city in the world, I get it. But for god’s sake just because they’re the biggest market doesn’t mean ESPN, and in turn the rest of the sports media world, has to cover them so much. When the Mets finally fired Willie Randolph two weeks ago it …

Lenny Dykstra. Nails. The Dude. You have to love him right? I still remember when he showed up for spring training in 1993 all jacked up and proclaimed he had taken some “good vitamins” during the off-season. Oh that Lenny, what a kidder. So when you found out he had become some kind of stock genius, you basically had to pick your jaw off the floor didn’t you? Well, it might all be crashing (like a car into a tree?) around him as evidenced by the listing of his SoCal home for $25 million. Get out while you can Dude!

The house, which is on the Sherwood Country Club in Thousand Oaks, CA, used to be the home of Wayne Gretzky and is - technically speaking - ginormous. So if you’re looking for a little spot for you and the wife and kids, consider this place with it’s 12,713 square feet, eight bedrooms, seven baths located on seven acres next to a GOLF COURSE! But …

How many times over the years did you say to yourself, “I wish I could choke out that little fuck Ed Wade.” My count was around 15,000. Well, (soon to be former) Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon has lived all our dreams. J Platt says Chacon shouldn’t be allowed to pitch in the majors ever again. I say, give him the keys to the city!

Ed Wade’s not our problem anymore I guess. And since he’s a GM in the National League it probably benefits us as Phillies fans since you know the Astros aren’t doing anything while he’s there. In fact, there might be an opening in New York Ed, maybe you might want to look into that job, I’m just saying.

This story is really pretty amazing. The fact that Chacon admitted to grabbing Wade by the neck, throwing him to the ground and jumping on him is amazing in itself. But what is most shocking in my opinion is that Chacon was able to get his …

This makes two days in a row that former Philadelphia sports figures are arrested. Yesterday we had Javon Kearse getting a DUI and now Aaron McKie is charged with “falsifying forms when purchasing two handguns in Upper Moreland Township on April 8″ according to Montgomery County District Attorney Risa Ferman.

The last I heard from Aaron McKie he was being traded from the LA Lakers to the Memphis Grizzlies even though he was an assistant coach on the Sixers at the time. This is why the NBA is a mess, an assistant coach on one team is traded by another team to a third team just to match salaries, try understanding that one.

Anyway back to the firearms charges, because the mother of McKie’s child has a protection-from-abuse order against him he is prohibited from owning firearms. But, when he went to buy these firearms in April, McKie failed to mention this protection order while filling out the federal form. Oooops. When state police ran a background check …

It’s safe to say Javon Kearse’s time in Philadelphia was disappointing to say the least, so it wasn’t really shocking when the Eagles released him earlier this year. Now the word coming out of Tennessee is that Kearse was arrested and charged with DUI early Sunday morning after being stopped near Vanderbilt University by campus police. You’re telling me with all that money he stole from the Eagles he couldn’t hire a driver?

Reportedly, Kearse took a field sobriety test but refused to take a breathalyzer which is a violation of Tennessee’s implied consent law. When he was pulled over the officer reported he “exhibited slurred speech, red eyes, and smelled of alcohol.”

Well I guess that’s one way to get your career back on track.

The news coming out of Canada is the Flyers and Jeff Carter have agreed on a three-year deal worth around $15 Million. Carter was slated to become a Group 2 free agent on July 1 and with the NHL draft beginning tomorrow night there were thoughts Carter might be traded. But Carter seemed to pass up the potential for more money to stay in Philadelphia.

There are a couple of surprising things about this deal. One is that Carter could have probably received more money from another club (although that team probably would have had to give up a first, second and third round draft choice for signing him) - Carter will get somewhere between $3-$4 Million per year from the Flyers.

The other thing is, the 23-year-old Carter seems to be stuck as the third-line Center behind Mike Richards and Danny Briere, both of whom are signed well into the next decade. There are a number of teams on which Carter would probably play on …

We’re still six weeks away from baseball’s trading deadline, but if the last two games told us anything it’s that the Phillies aren’t going to compete with the elite without bolstering their starting pitching. Oh, it also told us Chase Utley needs a day off, but that’s another post. According to ESPN’s Jason Stark, the Phillies have already started looking into some of the names who will probably be moved between now and July 31. Hey, anything’s better than Adam Eaton right?

According to Stark the Phillies have at least “kicked the tires on” C.C. Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, Bronson Arroyo and Jarrod Washburn. Also, with the firing of Bill Bavasi in Seattle it’s assumed Erik Bedard will be shopped around and Stark expects the Phillies to be a player for his services as well.

But when you’re talking about making a deal around the trading deadline (especially for a starting pitcher) you’re talking about giving up some prospects, and we already know the Phils don’t have a big …

At 10am today Eagles single-game seats went on sale and as expected they were sold out in under an hour (actually it only took 40 minutes). But this year tickets were only available through Ticketmaster either buy calling their phone number or, as most people would do, through their website. As The Inquirer points out, trying to buy tickets was an exercise in frustration. But all is not lost, you can still buy tickets from Ticketmaster, well sort of.

When tickets sell out it doesn’t mean you’re not going to be able to buy seats, it just means you’re going to have to do some searching and probably pay a little more. But usually it’s calling some shady ad from the paper or dealing with the “Need ‘em, Got ‘em” guy walking around the stadium. Not anymore, this is the 21st Century and instead of the little guy making some extra dough from re-selling tickets, companies like Ticketmaster do it themselves.

Just go to ticketsnow.com where you’ll …